We all have a comfort zone. That one place where you can let your hair down and relax, sit around naked, or pick your nose if you feel like it. The place where you can do no wrong. The place where nothing can hurt you unless you let it inside. But what happens when you step outside your comfort zone? What if someone pushes you out of your comfort zone? What do you do when someone shows you that the comfort zone you’ve so carefully crafted is a big can of BS?
People as a group do not like change, whether big, small, personal, general, or indifferent. Once you hit that cozy spot you don’t want to get out of it. But if you don’t stretch a little, you never grow. If you don’t grow, you stagnate. Human beings are really good at digging ruts into our lives and not bothering to see how deep in shit we really are. It often takes a major event, catastrophic even, for us to see what we’ve done to our lives. Sometimes it just takes the persistent nudging of a good friend. But either way, there are times you just have to stop and take a look at where you are.
Are you where you planned on being at this point in life? Why not? What happened? Why did you react the way you did? Why haven’t you done anything since then to change the situation? What can you do now to change it? Do you want to change it or do you want to stay with the current program and just go on bitching about it? If you make an effort to change and it doesn’t work, okay, you can bitch about it. But don’t bitch and moan just because you don’t like it. Do something about it. Speak up. Get off you lazy butt and move.
It’s not easy to find that motivation. Some people never do. Some people are so overly motivated they can’t be still. And some of us are just chugging along, seeing where the trip will lead.
I’m finding that my motivation is coming from a different place now. No, I’m not where I thought I would be at this point. I planned on being married with kids and a big Victorian house and the white picket fence, with a job I loved and a husband I adored. Well, guess what? The fairy tale is not happening! No house, no kids, husband turned out to be a very accomplished liar. I do know I want to change my current situation. Luckily I have friends and family to support me, and to keep pushing me toward the edge of my comfort zone. I’m also finding that besides still being the guiding voice a lot of my friends have relied on over the years, I’m now the one pushing my friends to the edge of their comfort zones.
If I have to look at myself in the mirror and face the truth, so do all of you. You may not like what you see. You may not look right now, but wait until it doesn’t scare you so bad. But one way or another, we all have to look in that mirror.
For now, I will continue to stretch for that boundary between comfortable and growth. I will rewrite my fairy tale. Perhaps my Prince will already have kids, or we find a little bungalow overlooking the beach. Maybe we buy an island and turn into natives. The only way I will find out for sure is to keep pushing my limits. Take one risk at a time until I feel brave enough to try two at a time. Or maybe three at a time. But I will not shy away from that line.
Once you commit to crossing the border it’s actually pretty fun. The path we need to take will be bumpy sometimes, but the destination is definitely worth the trip.