How do you get a two year old to make a decision? You limit his choices. The red Popsicle or the blue Popsicle? Only two choices. When we get older this method still works. Whether we apply it to the people around us or to ourselves, we have choices. As we get older the choices we make become infinitely more important. No one tells us when we are kids that the choices we make will effect the rest of our lives. No one tells us that the way we learn to make decisions and choices will effect the rest of our lives.
Changes we make at any stage in life will create ripples we may feel the effects of for years. One little change makes a ripple around us. Then another change adds to that ripple. Eventually, if we make enough changes, we unleash a tsunami of energy. The waves of change will ripple and eddy around us until it’s felt by everyone we come in contact with.
I’ve learned that I am only responsible for the choices I make that concern me. I can’t make choices for other people. I can try to influence their choices, and hope they choose the way I want. But it’s not my choice to make. If you don’t like what choices someone makes, sure you can confront them on it. But be sure you really want to know why they chose to do things that way. And you better have damn valid reasons to present when you try to change their mind.
Not everyone sees the choices they make. Sometimes we need a friend to smack us in the head and say, ‘What are you thinking?’ That’s when we need to look closely at the choices we’ve made and examine why we made them. This is the hard part, ciphering our deepest desires and motivations. It requires looking at the nitty gritty of what makes each of us a person.
I’m a Libra, which means I look at all sides of a situation before I make a decision. It also means I won’t abandon the possibility of choosing a different path. The choices we make can alter the path we take through life. We choose to be miserable like our parents. We choose to make the same mistakes as our parents. We choose to continue the endless cycle of learned behaviors we get from our parents. If you flip that coin over, something amazing happens.
You choose to give your kids the tools they need to survive in this world. You choose to let your kids grow up and make their own decisions. You choose to do the things that make you happy. You choose to be with the person that makes you happy. You don’t have to justify your choices to anybody but yourself. Each of us has a path to follow. If we are lucky, our paths will cross with someone else’s who will turn out to be the person we were looking for anyway.