We have all experienced the pain of a bad relationship. What do you do when you realize it’s all gone wrong? Do you let the negative emotions direct your actions? Or look for something positive to inspire you? Do you let the fear of more damage prevent you from taking chances? How do you overcome the damage and move on?
In order to grow as a person you have to learn from your past, including what you may feel were mistakes or another’s mistreatment. Let me clarify something for you: FORGIVENESS is not the same as FORGETTING. There are some injuries that you will never forget. But it is possible for wounds to heal if you forgive the person who caused them. Don’t laugh… I’m serious!
You need to recognize the cause of the damage. If you’re doing something to put yourself in harm’s way, you have to learn to control your own behavior. But what if the hurt was caused by someone else? You need to define that person, what behaviors of theirs were so destructive. And then you need to forgive them. Carrying around that baggage will only do more harm. You don’t have room for any happiness if your damage is taking up so much space. Once you let go of it, those old wounds will heal better.
When you take a look at those wounds, you also need to look at your own actions. A long honest look in the mirror can be as painful as those wounds if you are truly honest with yourself. You did not expect to get hurt. You did not ask to be cheated on or disrespected. Sometimes we know the pain is coming and we do nothing to stop it. It’s not unfounded to feel like you let it happen. But you have to forgive yourself if you are truly going to heal.
Not all people are out to treat you like the people from your past. Don’t expect them to act that way. If you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, all you do is draw negative energy around you and get negative feedback. If all you seem to catch are bad fish, maybe you need to try a better bait. Give people the chance to prove that they are capable of respecting and loving you.
Each of us needs to realize that we deserve to be happy and loved. But if you carry all that negative baggage around, your hands are full of crap. Let it go so your hands are open and available when something good does come around. Scar tissue can build a cage around your heart. You have the power to release yourself from that cage, that pain. As long as you carry all the baggage other people have piled on you, they control your happiness.
Push their voices out of your head and think for yourself. Take back your control. It’s time to take a good look in the mirror and come clean.