Evil Little Woman….

I admit it.  I have a mean streak.  Well, it’s not so much that I’m mean.  I just have a tendency to make people look at themselves honestly.  Not many of us do that.  And as I get older and learn more about myself and my own motivations, I have little patience for people who can’t face their own realities.

I was told yesterday that I have talent for asking questions people don’t want to answer.  I can’t help it.  I had to take a long, hard look in my own mirror to get to where I am today.  It’s not easy to look at your own flaws and see them the way other people see them.  But that was the only way to free myself from all the anger, frustration, pain.

The old adage is true: what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.  I’ve buried all of my grandparents and both parents.  I’ve been married to a man who had no idea who I really was anymore than he could admit who he was.  I’ve been assaulted twice.  A lot of other people have been through the same things.  What makes us each unique is how we handle it.

Some things I’ve hidden from for a long time.  Some I’ve been able to deal with fairly quickly.  There are others I’m still working on.  But I will no longer hide from myself.  I will learn how to get out of my own way.  I’ve gotten a lot stronger over the last couple of years.  I’m not about to back down now.


Change of scenery

Yes, I know, I didn’t blog yesterday.  I simply wasn’t in the mood.  So my aunt and I went to a bird & reptile show here in town.  I’m very happy to report that she actually petted a bird ~ she’s afraid of them.  No, I did not pet the snake she let wrap itself around her arm.  The only good snake is a trouser snake…. just saying.

A lot of Saturdays are days me and Cindi (my aunt) go out for lunch and do a little shopping.  It was nice to do something different.  Sometimes you gotta shake up the routine a little.  Don’t let yourself get in a rut.  It makes you stagnate, losing energy and motivation the longer you stay stuck.

I did a bit of shopping Friday.  Bought some clothes and a couple of pairs of heels.  Gotta love a new pair of shoes.  Adding something new can help break you out of a rut.  It makes you feel good.

Look around you, wherever you are at this very moment.  Are you someplace new or surrounded by the same old same old?  If it’s not new, find something to change.  Make something new and different and exciting.  Go see a friend.  Buy a new ‘something.’ Paint a room in a color you’ve always wanted to try.  A change of scenery will do you good.

What’s good for the goose….

….is good for the gander.  We’ve all heard this phrase.  What does it mean?  It means what’s good enough for a woman should be good enough for a man, literally.  Does it still apply in our modern age?  Oh, hell yeah!

For starters, how about rephrasing it a bit…. What’s good enough for the people is good enough for Congress.  Not to start a political debate, but congress was never meant to be a full-time job.  If politicians are going to keep their jobs they need to be held accountable just like the rest of us, have to fight and beg for pay raises (can we say Salary Cap?), have a boss they answer too (We the People), and have to shop for their own health insurance.  They need to get a day job.

Jobs are another place where there is still most definitely a double standard.  And not just based on gender.  Yes, men do still make more on average than most women doing a comparable job.  While the size of our population dictates that women are bound to make more steps toward equality in the work force there are still fields where men advance farther and faster than women.

More men are displaying publicly that they can do jobs considered at one time to be ‘women’s work’.  It doesn’t mean they are any less manly.  But women who are making strides in male dominated fields are still considered bitches.  And women are still objectified way more than men.

Okay, let’s break it down to the most base elements.  Yes, I’m going to generalize.  Brace yourself.  I know not all men are the same and neither are all women.  Keep that in mind.  Men, as a group, still view women as sex objects.  Big shocker… NOT!  What may surprise you is that there are women who feel the same way about men.

Does it mean these women are easy, of loose morals, whores?  No.  Get your head out of the stone ages.  It means they are in touch with their own sexuality and confident enough to express it.  Now we’re getting to where the double standard comes in, especially with people in their 30s and 40s.

Men, again as a group, still feel that they are the dominant gender.  What the man says is the rule.  It’s a very ‘do as I say, not as I do’ attitude.  With friends with benefits being such a popular concept now, it’s a noticeable attitude.  Men can have more than one friend with benefits, but some expect the women they are friends with to only have one.

What makes him so special?  Why should he get to have multiple play partners but she can’t?  I think it’s not so much a trust issue, as men don’t like to share their toys.  Well, sometimes women don’t like to share their toys, either.  That does not mean that we can’t have more than one.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying that women should go out and screw whomever they want and generally act stupid. ….. Gee, that sounds like something a guy would do….. What I’m saying is that people need to communicate.

There are some very smart people in this world.  Not all of them act it.  And sometimes the ones who don’t appear to be the sharpest crayon in the box will surprise you.  Never accept things at face value.  Talk to somebody.  Be honest.  Ask questions.  Oh, yeah…. Be sure if you wake up on my sofa that you can keep up enough to look me in the eye in the morning.

Shift it…

Recognize that line? It’s not just a car commercial.  It’s a line from one of my favorite movies, Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Both commercial and movie are saying the same thing: Get Moving!

I found out recently that I’m iron deficient.  No wonder I’m taking so many naps lately!  Helps that I don’t have so many friends anymore that are insomniacs & that I’m working so I can’t stay up late to chat.  But I’m still exhausted some days.

Yes, I’m taking extra vitamins.  I still don’t sleep well some nights, though.  One thing that helps is to get more exercise.  You might ask how do you have energy to exercise if you’re already tired?  When we don’t use or bodies enough to burn some energy we don’t rest well.  It can become a vicious cycle.

If you’ve known me for any length of time or live close enough to have met me in person you know I’m not a petite woman except in height.  I have my dad’s bone structure combined with my mom’s shortness.  (Thanks bunches Mom & Dad) However, I do have curves, generous curves in all the right places.  I just want them to be a little more streamlined for the sake of my health.

I’m actually very health conscious.  The problem is that I put the Pro in procrastination.  That coupled with a condition called PCOS keeps my curvy.  I have to work really really really hard to make noticeable change.  Sometimes I just don’t want to.  But I’m turning 40 this year.  What the hell am I waiting for?

I’m hoping to make it to a yoga class I just heard about.  Timing, timing is everything.  I can’t let me talk myself out of it.  I’m having a big party for my 40th birthday this year.  I’ll let you know how much progress I make between now and then.  So if  you find that you don’t have as much pep in your step as you used to or that you spend more time online than off, you might want to think about getting out of your chair and getting your ass in gear.

Come play with me…

As writer’s, how important is it to get out among the people and socialize?  It’s incredibly important.  Just like everyone else we need to socialize.  Writing is a solitary practice, but we’re writing about people behaving like people do.  How can you write about people if you never get out among them to see their behaviors?

When I lived at the beach I would go to mall and sit in the food court.  Just sit and listen to people.  It wasn’t their physical characteristics so much that I was watching as their behavior, the emotional reactions. Yes, we can draw on the people close to us for characterization but eventually they will recognize themselves as your serial killer in book 3.

You have to get out among the people.  Listen to them, watch them, notice body language and facial expressions.  Pay attention to everyone around you.  Just don’t creep anybody out.

Next time you’re invited out to play, say yes.  It freshens your perspective on people, helps sharpen your characters.  And who knows, you just may have some fun.


I’m just not feeling it tonight.  I’ll be honest.  It’s not what I’d call writer’s block.  There are plenty of words there.  I can feel them under my skin buzzing like bees.  The problem is all the voices in my ear.  Too many people inside my head, like a peanut gallery sitting in the back of the room that makes up my mind.

If only they were all characters for stories…. I’d grab a pen and start a roll-call.  There are other people in there, real people.  Some are very important to me, some are important in different ways.  Each one is like a door.  Sometimes you have to close one door before you open another.

Why can’t some of you be windows? I’m going to have to do something so I can focus.  Meditate over a jigsaw puzzle or something.  Maybe strong black coffee and incense in the morning.  I’ll try most anything if it helps me concentrate…

Lucky Number 7

Today is the seventh day of the August blog challenge.  This is blog #7.  Yes, it’s only a week, but if you’ve been reading my blog for longer than that you know sometimes I go silent.  I think it’s a fairly big accomplishment to have a whole week’s worth of blogs.  It deserves a reward of some kind to encourage me to continue on for the rest of the month.

I’ve been discussing this very thing with another writer friend of mine.  A schedule to stick to is important.  But it gets boring just doing what’s penciled in on your schedule.  Well, first of all, you’re the one holding the pencil.  Shake it up a bit.  Don’t set the same tasks for everyday at the same time. As long as you are working, mix up your day however you want.

One way to keep it fresh is to make at least two versions of your schedule.  Then you can alternate the two patterns each week, or work one for two weeks before you switch.  Set your goals for each week and reward your progress.  Even if it’s a small step.

Sometimes the reward is the important part more so than the work accomplished.  Rewards can be anything: a new book, a dessert, a movie, chocolate, a stiff drink.  Anything that’s not already an everyday occurence can be used for a reward.  Each step you take closer to your goal is progress.  Celebrate.

Seven has always been a lucky number for me in a variety of ways.  This seventh blog is a good step forward.  Yes, something as simple as proving to yourself that you can keep up your blog everyday for a week can be worthy of a reward.  So I’m going to enjoy some fresh blueberries and a glass of iced tea, sit back and do my nails.

Here’s hoping the second week of August is as rewarding as the first.