What motivates you? Not the quick, short-term kind of motivation. Deep-rooted, gut instinct motivation. You know, the motives that guide your snap decisions where you don’t even think first.
Why do you act the way you do? Why do you have faith in your deity? Why do you part your hair to the right instead of the left? Why do you always put the left shoe on first? Why do you listen to one political analyst over another? Why do you always play the same song first thing in the morning? Why do you prefer brunettes over blondes?
There are thousands of little decisions and not-so-little decisions we make every day of our lives. Do you truly know why you choose the path you do? Is it because of your upbringing? Are you trying to overcome it and you intentionally choose something different? Is it a way to re-establish your own control over your life? Do you do something out of spite for a person who may not even be present in your life anymore?
Let me give you a couple of examples:
~When I’m out in public I always take the farthest path from any older men I see. I was attacked by an older man when I was 12.
~I have a friend who always takes a different path between destinations from how she got there because of a stalker.
~Another friend refuses to eat certain things because of an Ex.
~One of my best friends is always the first to say I’m sorry, My fault even when it’s not.
The reasons behind our actions are very often the last things on our minds. But we need to realize they are sometimes the biggest motivations in our lives. Having been attacked when I was younger, I am very wary around strangers, sometimes even around people I know. I’ve tried many times to overcome this. It’s not easy. I still remember what the bastard looked liked, the dogs on their leashes, the dread of having to tell my mother. Talking to the cop was easier to be quite honest.
The point is that we have to look at our past, pick it up, turn it over and over in our hands a few times, poke it with a pointy stick, make it talk to us to figure it out. Until we realize that our past drives our present we will never realize the future we want. We’ve all made mistakes, bad decisions, let someone take control and not done enough to stand up for ourselves. Take those decisions one by one and forgive yourself for them.
Yes, forgive yourself for making a mistake. Heaven forbid you act like a human being. We’re not perfect. No one person on this planet is. It’s okay to make mistakes, to let stuff happen. It’s also okay to forgive yourself. You don’t have to go all caveman and refuse to see things in a different way because you’re afraid of repeating a mistake. Learn from it and recognize the signs of it. If you know what to look for, you’re less likely to repeat it.
Now, here’s the best motivation question you can ask yourself.
Just what would you do for a Klondike bar?