Don’t I know you….

I went for a drive with my aunt last night and we were discussing one of my friends.  I asked her Why are some people so afraid of being happy? I already know a variety of reasons for this one but I guess I just needed to hear some validation.

We’ve all had times in our lives when we thought, we just knew, that we were happy.  Not just settled or content but truly happy.  And then we realize, sometimes gradually or maybe abruptly, that what we have is not happiness.  It hurts a lot to realize that you’ve put so much of yourself into something only to have it crumble at your feet.

Some of us have had this happen more than once.  Does that mean we’re repeating some mistake?  Are we making the same bad choices?  Or are we just drawn to the wrong type of person?  Maybe that’s not the problem at all.

Sometimes the problem is that we are afraid to actually have that true happiness because we are afraid it will crumble again.  No one likes to be hurt.  It’s not fun.  It makes us doubt our own worth.  Or even worse, when we do find someone who can make us for-real happy we have no clue what to do with them.  So we try to push them away without really letting go, keeping them at arm’s length.

The truth is that fear will keep you safely tucked in your safety zone and guaranteed NOT to find the happiness you keep saying you want.  The only way you will find what you’re looking for is to take that chance and step out of your comfort zone.

We all deserve to be happy.  You shouldn’t be afraid of it.  I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone a lot lately.  I may hesitate a little, but I’m definitely making decisions and telling people how I feel.  So I see someone like my friend who may already have something that will make him truly happy and I realize that he’s so afraid of getting hurt that he can’t be honest with himself about the very thing that he wants.

I’ve been there.  It’s scary.  But all you have to do is take that first step.  Maybe if you stop making excuses why something won’t work, you’ll find some valid reasons why it will work.

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4 thoughts on “Don’t I know you….”

  1. “Sometimes the problem is that we are afraid to actually have that true happiness because we are afraid it will crumble again.” How so very true is that? I know that 100%. Very insightful and wonderfully done post. Thank you for so much for your article.

  2. That is so fantastic I thought you were actually trying to reach me instead of having a public example. You have got it girl, it works.

  3. Contentness is true happiness I think anyways! That “mmmm” feeling you get when you climb into fresh sheets, and your body smells like the cream you’ve been using for 5 days, and your hair is all shiny and your radiant, and You have a huge belly the size of football.
    And your really strong!
    Pregnancy for a women is true happiness, raising kids and seeing them really cute and happy! That’s happiness, looking at your husband realising that you’d rather be home making love in front of the fire than out at the pub socialising with your mutual friends that your not really interested in right now because all you wanna do is make love with each other.
    That’s happiness!
    That mmm feeling when you nestle your head into your husbands hairy chest!
    I can’t wait for it, but I’m gonna have to 🙂

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