I went for a drive with my aunt last night and we were discussing one of my friends. I asked her Why are some people so afraid of being happy? I already know a variety of reasons for this one but I guess I just needed to hear some validation.
We’ve all had times in our lives when we thought, we just knew, that we were happy. Not just settled or content but truly happy. And then we realize, sometimes gradually or maybe abruptly, that what we have is not happiness. It hurts a lot to realize that you’ve put so much of yourself into something only to have it crumble at your feet.
Some of us have had this happen more than once. Does that mean we’re repeating some mistake? Are we making the same bad choices? Or are we just drawn to the wrong type of person? Maybe that’s not the problem at all.
Sometimes the problem is that we are afraid to actually have that true happiness because we are afraid it will crumble again. No one likes to be hurt. It’s not fun. It makes us doubt our own worth. Or even worse, when we do find someone who can make us for-real happy we have no clue what to do with them. So we try to push them away without really letting go, keeping them at arm’s length.
The truth is that fear will keep you safely tucked in your safety zone and guaranteed NOT to find the happiness you keep saying you want. The only way you will find what you’re looking for is to take that chance and step out of your comfort zone.
We all deserve to be happy. You shouldn’t be afraid of it. I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone a lot lately. I may hesitate a little, but I’m definitely making decisions and telling people how I feel. So I see someone like my friend who may already have something that will make him truly happy and I realize that he’s so afraid of getting hurt that he can’t be honest with himself about the very thing that he wants.
I’ve been there. It’s scary. But all you have to do is take that first step. Maybe if you stop making excuses why something won’t work, you’ll find some valid reasons why it will work.