I’m so damn frustrated right now I can’t see straight. Why is it so hard to find someone that can love me like I am for who I am and be happy? It feels like I have all this emotion and passion inside of me and I have no outlet for it, nobody to share it with. What’s the point in having it if I can’t share it with somebody.
It hurts too much. Sometimes I think I’d rather be numb. I know not everyone can look in the mirror honestly and sometimes I still shy away from it. But I have seen a lot already.
I know who I am. I know what I want. I admit I have no patience and I am tired of waiting on the right man to come along. I’m getting some attention now but not the kind of attention I want. I’m tired of being a friend with benefits. I want a relationship. I want something real and true and exciting.
Some days it feels like that goal is so unreachable I feel like giving up. I hate feeling like that.
I want someone I can have all to myself. I want to be able to shout from the rooftops that I love someone and he loves me. I’m so tired of being alone.
I lit a candle lastnight, asked for guidance on how to channel all this energy. I slept solid for the first time in a long time. Not sure I know anymore now than I did when I lit the candle but the words are definitely flying today. Maybe that’s my sign….