A Spirit Bared

I’m so damn frustrated right now I can’t see straight.  Why is it so hard to find someone that can love me like I am for who I am and be happy?  It feels like I have all this emotion and passion inside of me and I have no outlet for it, nobody to share it with.  What’s the point in having it if I can’t share it with somebody.

It hurts too much.  Sometimes I think I’d rather be numb.  I know not everyone can look in the mirror honestly and sometimes I still shy away from it.  But I have seen a lot already.

I know who I am. I know what I want.  I admit I have no patience and I am tired of waiting on the right man to come along.  I’m getting some attention now but not the kind of attention I want.  I’m tired of being a friend with benefits.  I want a relationship.  I want something real and true and exciting.

Some days it feels like that goal is so unreachable I feel like giving up.  I hate feeling like that.

I want someone I can have all to myself. I want to be able to shout from the rooftops that I love someone and he loves me.  I’m so tired of being alone.

I lit a candle lastnight, asked for guidance on how to channel all this energy.  I slept solid for the first time in a long time.  Not sure I know anymore now than I did when I lit the candle but the words are definitely flying today.  Maybe that’s my sign….



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