Do you remember Salt n Pepa? Then you know what I’m about to talk about. Don’t get too excited. I’m not getting graphic and this is not my erotica blog. I do want to bring up an issue that I’ve mentioned before.
Let me give you a brief scenario: Boy meets Girl, Boy & Girl get to know each other, Boy & Girl have sex. Somewhere in between there Boy meets another Girl. Boy decides he wants to get to know Girl #2 a lot better. Conflict: Girl #1 is supposed to come over for a play date.
Keep in mind that “boy” and “girl” are merely gender specifications, all parties involved are adults and definitely old enough to have some common sense. There have been no commitments made between anyone. And up until the play date Boy has acted like he had manners and some decency. Here’s where the train derails…
Boy sends Girl #1 a text that he wants to see Girl #2 and is not available anymore. Now pay attention: he sends this text AFTER the play date. Whether it’s been 9 months since you last had sex, or 9 hours, it is totally WRONG to use Girl #1 for play time if you are so into Girl #2 that you want to see her exclusively.
I don’t think of myself as old fashioned and I am entirely too picky about who I share my body with to be easy. But it is simply wrong to use another person that way. Whether you do it out of convenience, lack of morals, because you’re a gutless wonder, or whatever. It’s very immature and shows that you have no idea how to maintain a relationship once things progress beyond convenience.
Convenience is not a good reason to have sex. Let me quote a previous blog post, “No is just a dirty word, never gonna say it first”:
Few people are truly honest with themselves. We are excellent at lying to ourselves and putting up our own obstacles. Does that give us the right to take advantage of someone who’s honest enough, open enough, strong enough to know who they are and what they want? No! Does that mean that I will settle for someone who’s convenient instead of waiting and searching for the one that is as honest, open and strong as I am? No!
I tend to think that sex is like oxygen. You don’t really think about it until you aren’t getting enough. But if you are going to blow off someone to see someone else, do it without a “this may be the last piece of ass I get in a while” fuck. The man or woman who does that must not have a lot of respect for themselves if they are willing to show so little respect for someone they are intimate with.
Sex is not the most important part of a relationship, but it is important. No matter how new or how intense or how close the relationship, show respect for yourself and for the other person. You will never find what you are looking for if you take advantage of something you’ve already found in order to get to it.