Just so you know, this post is related to the previous one. Last blog I was talking about how well can you know someone from the other side of this computer screen. Let me start this post with a question: how honest are you with the people you talk to online?
I try to be honest and upfront in every thing I do, even when I’m online. What is the point in lying? Especially if I’m talking to someone I might meet in person. If I lie to them about something and then we meet in person, eventually the truth will come out.
FYI, I ask a lot more than 20 questions because most people will trip up at some point if they are lying to me. And a lie of omission is still a lie. What good does it do to hide the truth? I’ve encountered a lot of people online. A few things people have hidden or just not been open about: they’re married, swingers, a different race, disabled, unemployed, still live with their parents.
Are any of these things “deal breakers?” No. Are any of these things reasons for me not to speak to someone? No. Any one of those things may mean I act differently when I talk to someone. I may not flirt as much or at all if I know you’re married. I’m not going to talk about what I just bought at the book store if I know you’re unemployed. I won’t talk about meeting at your place for a play date if you live with your parents. But none of these things are anything to lie about.
Okay, we’ve looked at the truth. How about the consequences? What happens if you don’t tell people the truth? Depends on who you’re talking to. Embarrassment, loss of a new friend, a slap in the face, firing if it involves your work. Most times, the truth will come out. If you’re having a conversation with someone and they ask something that makes you feel like you need to avoid them for a while…….
What is it you’re hiding that makes you uncomfortable? What did you say that wasn’t the whole truth? Why do you feel the need to hide it to begin with? Honesty really is the best policy. You cannot build any kind of trust or any type of relationship without being honest from the beginning.
I would much rather hear the truth even if it’s something I may not like or that may hurt. Hiding the truth, your true feelings, something that happens, will not make it any easier to deal with. It’s actually more trouble to deal with once it comes to light. Be open about it from the start and move forward knowing you are not starting things with a lie.
You cannot live life afraid to speak or see your own truth. If you have kept something from someone, come clean about it. Don’t create baggage where there is no need for it.