Tell me something good…

Depending on who I say that to I will get a wide range of responses.  It varies based on the relationship I have with each person I ask.  Oh, dear.  I said the R word.  Don’t freak out on me.  Keep reading.

Let me start by showing you several types of relationships:

parent – child

child – parent

spouse – spouse

friend – friend

lover – lover

neighbor – neighbor

boss – employee

coach – athlete

nurse – patient

customer – cashier/server/hairdresser/mechanic/tailor….

The list could go on but I have more to say. 😉

No two people are the same.  Even twins have at least one variation from each other in some way.  So why would you expect your relationships to all be the same?  Every relationship is unique to the two people involved in it.

There are patterns and themes that repeat.  Seeing those patterns is not always easy.  When you think to yourself “why does this keep happening” you need to keep one important thing in mind.  The one thing all of your relationships have in common…….. is You.

This doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you.  It means you are human and tend to repeat patterns you are accustomed to.  When you repeat the same behaviors you get the same patterns.  Naturally, that leads me to this:  if you want to see different patterns, change your behavior.  Even changing one thing in one relationship can make a difference.

Each of our actions is like a ripple on a pond.  One change here, will lead to another change there.  But here’s the thing to remember:  the changes happen within us.  When we look at something differently, we react to it differently.  In turn the people around us react to us differently.

There’s a writer on my Facebook page who is always bitching about Mondays.  It’s to the point I don’t read anything she posts on a Sunday.  I’ve tried to show her that Mondays are only as bad as you let them be.  She already knows she has to get up and go to work.  Nothing new.  So why be so uptight about it?  I like Mondays.  The beginning of each week is another chance to have a great week.  If she would change her behavior she might actually have a good day on a Monday.  Imagine that.

Even if you think you don’t have a “Relationship” with someone, you do.  If you’ve spoken more than once and gotten past “Hello, how are you?” then you have a relationship even if it’s only a casual acquaintance.  That doesn’t mean your favorite guy-friend will turn into dating material.  It doesn’t mean the girl you speak to at the grocery store will turn out to be as bitchy as your ex-wife.

We talk to people everyday that will be part of our lives in some way.  Don’t be afraid of the R word.  It’s only as bad as you let it be.  Now, tell me something good….




Idle Hands

What do you do when you feel uninspired?  Do you try to force the words to come?  Do you sit around and wait for inspiration to strike?  Maybe try changing up your writing routine in hopes of freeing your Muse?

Throw something at me and I’ve probably tried it at least twice trying to kickstart my Muse.  I’m not sure what the problem is.  Am I afraid of completing something and actually being successful with it?  Am I so afraid of failing that I can’t work up enough courage to try?

There are probably as many reasons why we don’t try things as there are people to ask the question.  I have OCD, maybe even a touch of ADD.  I’m not the only one.  What makes me so special?  Only I can decide if I will allow myself to be my own distraction.

We are truly in charge of our own destinies.  If you feel unproductive, then do something.  If you feel like you lack confidence, find something that helps you build your confidence and keep doing it until you feel strong in your self esteem.

Take control of your own life.  Don’t wallow in the past.  Don’t let other people get so far inside your head that their voice is the only one you hear talking to you.  Find your voice.  Do whatever it takes.