Depending on who I say that to I will get a wide range of responses. It varies based on the relationship I have with each person I ask. Oh, dear. I said the R word. Don’t freak out on me. Keep reading.
Let me start by showing you several types of relationships:
parent – child
child – parent
spouse – spouse
friend – friend
lover – lover
neighbor – neighbor
boss – employee
coach – athlete
nurse – patient
customer – cashier/server/hairdresser/mechanic/tailor….
The list could go on but I have more to say. 😉
No two people are the same. Even twins have at least one variation from each other in some way. So why would you expect your relationships to all be the same? Every relationship is unique to the two people involved in it.
There are patterns and themes that repeat. Seeing those patterns is not always easy. When you think to yourself “why does this keep happening” you need to keep one important thing in mind. The one thing all of your relationships have in common…….. is You.
This doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. It means you are human and tend to repeat patterns you are accustomed to. When you repeat the same behaviors you get the same patterns. Naturally, that leads me to this: if you want to see different patterns, change your behavior. Even changing one thing in one relationship can make a difference.
Each of our actions is like a ripple on a pond. One change here, will lead to another change there. But here’s the thing to remember: the changes happen within us. When we look at something differently, we react to it differently. In turn the people around us react to us differently.
There’s a writer on my Facebook page who is always bitching about Mondays. It’s to the point I don’t read anything she posts on a Sunday. I’ve tried to show her that Mondays are only as bad as you let them be. She already knows she has to get up and go to work. Nothing new. So why be so uptight about it? I like Mondays. The beginning of each week is another chance to have a great week. If she would change her behavior she might actually have a good day on a Monday. Imagine that.
Even if you think you don’t have a “Relationship” with someone, you do. If you’ve spoken more than once and gotten past “Hello, how are you?” then you have a relationship even if it’s only a casual acquaintance. That doesn’t mean your favorite guy-friend will turn into dating material. It doesn’t mean the girl you speak to at the grocery store will turn out to be as bitchy as your ex-wife.
We talk to people everyday that will be part of our lives in some way. Don’t be afraid of the R word. It’s only as bad as you let it be. Now, tell me something good….