If any of you have seen pictures of me, it is quite evident that I am not flat chested. While I often gripe about my bras the truth is I would be in a lot of pain and quite miserable without them. I need that support. What does my bra do? The same function as a man’s athletic cup. Protect body parts that are often unsupported and in danger of getting squeezed, crushed, mashed, pinched…you get the point. These devices come in different sizes. A good thing since human bodies are a bit asymmetrical and even twins will have some differences. Each person is different and needs a type of support designed specifically for them.
Which brings me to my point. Each person on this planet needs more than just support from their clothes. We all need emotional support from the people around us. But it’s not all the same. Students need support to do well in school. Teachers need support to effectively fill heads with knowledge. People with ANY type of illness need support from family, friends and doctors in order for treatment to be successful.
A lot of our support system needs to come from within. This is not a contradiction of my last paragraph. Our own self-esteem and self-control work with the support of those around us. It’s important that the people we surround ourselves with understand us well enough to offer the support we need, and vice versa. A good example: if your best friend is trying to make healthy changes to his/her diet and get in shape, don’t offer them food they can’t eat. This is even more important when you live with someone. It is very difficult for a person to make healthy lifestyle changes when they share space with someone who is content to stay the way they are.
Do you have enough willpower to fix two different meals so you can eat together? Can you look across the table and watch the other person eat a big bowl of pasta and resist the urge to have even a bite? It’s difficult to maintain a new change long enough for it to become a habit when you don’t have enough support. And before you start, just saying you are supportive of someone’s efforts to get healthy or do whatever is not enough. Saying you’ll support my effort to go to the gym and cut out sodas and wheat is nothing but LIP SERVICE UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY BACK IT UP!
Let me repeat that: IT’S ONLY LIP SERVICE UNLESS YOUR ACTIONS SHOW YOUR SUPPORT! If I’m trying to get to the gym more often, ask me “did you make it to the gym today?” If I’m trying to eat what my doctor recommends, don’t bring home spaghetti O’s and frozen pizza. Yes, there are compromises, within reason. But if you’re going to say you support my efforts, then act like it. If we’re eating together, eat what I eat. If it’s your turn to buy groceries, don’t fill the cabinets with stuff I can’t eat. Don’t just tell me you support me. Show me.
I was never taught the value of cultivating self-esteem and self-control. I’ve had to learn those the hard way, through trial and error. My brother and I are both trying to make some lifestyle changes in order to get healthy. We’re both officially orphans with plenty of extended family. The two of us are our own support system, warped and twisted though it is. We need all the support we can get from those around us.
How strong is your support? If you wanted to make a big change would people be there to help you or just give lip service? How well does your bra fit?