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May I Have Your Attention…

Hi! I’m creating a new blog. I hope you all will follow me over at that blog. I’ll post links to it here for a while before I stop posting altogether on here. The new page is spellboundscribbler.wordpress.com and please feel free to share it. I just posted my first blog at spellboundscribbler. Come on over and take a look!

Still kicking…

I survived the move. More or less. I’m staying with friends for a bit while I find something I can live with for a long time to come. It works. I still haven’t stopped sneezing. Decided to go for full-blown bronchitis. But I’m heavily medicated so we should be right as rain soon. Now that the move is over (for now), I’m trying to get back into my writing. I made sure not to pack all mytough writing gear into the storage unit. I have been making notes on a new alien story. I don’t usually write aliens but I can’t get this idea out of my head. I’ve let it stew long enough that it’s about ready for a full outline and some serious writing. It’s funny and has a point and I am liking this idea a lot. Now I just need to stop coughing…

Spring Cleaning

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re saying. Isn’t it a little early for that? To give you a quick answer, No! I’ve decided not to buy the little house I’ve been staying in. It’s not so little and a bitch to keep warm and tons of stuff need fixed or freshened up. I’m just not that in love with the house.

That means I’m packing again. But it’s not just packing up all the stuff I have. I’m cleaning out, too. I’m asking myself if I really need all those empty binders and notebooks. Do I really need to keep the two dozen magazines I’ve not looked at in over a year? Do I need two dozen pairs of shoes when I only have about four pairs I wear regularly? How much stuff am I holding on to simply because I remember growing up without a lot of stuff? Cleaning-a-Window

Don’t get me wrong. My brother and I had everything we truly needed as kids. But we didn’t get a lot of the stuff we wanted because it wasn’t possible. So I’m cleaning out boxes and drawers and notebooks. I’m packing up the stuff I will use and need. I am not packing the other stuff. The fluff and detritus of 43 years. I’m trimming the fat, so to speak. And once I stop sneezing from all the dust, it’s going to feel really good.

Settling in

I’ve been in my new house for about three weeks now. I’m not as jumpy as I was when I first moved in. This is the first time I’ve ever lived alone. The noises of the house took some getting used to. The air conditioning kicking on, the ice maker, the dehumidifier, wind, rain on the tin carport roof, bugs buzzing around the high windows in my bedroom at night. Now, I can take a shower any time of day and not have flashbacks from Hitchcock’s Psycho.

I’m still leaving some night lights on but I’m comfortable in my house. My home. It’s the first time I’ve felt I truly had a home I could call my own. I have my stuff all around me, throughout the house. Not just a room. And I don’t have to have company unless I just want it. Some days I do. Some not so much. I’m working twelve hour days when I work so those days I’m content to just come home and not do anything. I don’t have to go anywhere or talk to anyone. Besides I have my cell phone to text and Facebook with anyone who feels talkative. I think I’m going to like having my own home.

And we’re waiting for…

I came across a meme on Facebook recently that credited Carl Jung with a quote.  I haven’t been able to confirm that, but I do like what it says.  The quote reads:  Life begins at 40.  Before that you were just doing research.

If you’ve followed my blog a long time (did I really start in 2008??) you may recall that it’s not been all sunshine and roses.  For those of you newer to the blog, let me recap.  I’m 42 years old, happily divorced, no kids, raised to be a wallflower by a mother who had her own truckload of baggage.  There were many things I learned from my mother that I have spent the last several years trying to unlearn.  I’ve been what you’d call a late bloomer to doing that research mentioned in the meme.

The question is what do I want to be when I grow up.  The answer: I still don’t know.  I have a few ideas that I feel quite strongly about.  The problem is that I’m still letting my mother’s lack of confidence hold back my own.  You see, Mom didn’t let me explore a lot of things to figure out who I was and what I wanted.  I did get to try a few things if I made enough noise about it.  But in general, I had to rely on my librarians to help me explore.

I have a news flash for you: reading about great adventures and amazing experiences is not the same thing as living those adventures and experiences.  So I come across this meme and I start thinking, what am I waiting on?  What are the things I want to do that I’ve not tried yet?  What do I want to be when I grow up?

fender_stratocaster_guitar_3The two constants in my life have been music and the written word.  Currently I write my blog (yes, I know, need to more often) and I’m editing for Voluted Tales Magazine.  I also have my own writing that I’m working on.  I’m shopping around for a guitar to start learning to play.  And I’m working on a steampunk-styled Adventure Time cosplay for the St. Patrick’s Day party I’m having next month.  I LOVE making clothes and costumes and props.  I’m a very crafty wench.

So that’s writing/editing, playing guitar, and cosplay.  I’m not waiting any longer.  Mom died in 2002.  Sometimes I still feel her influence, but it’s not as strong as it used to be.  Me…I’m getting stronger every day.  I’m trying to make good use of the time I spend in my chair and find new adventures to draw me out of it.

What haven’t you done yet?  What are you waiting for? …

Contrast

I’m a Libra, which means I see balance in most everything.  I always look at both sides of a situation, hopefully before the mouth engages.  But I like contrast, especially in artwork and photography.   Today I came across a picture that is attempting to show contrast with three colors: black, white, and red.  There are a couple of things I thought killed the contrast in the photo.  1000440_546734035390512_1680648919_n

One: the background has too even a color distribution.  Two:  the model’s legs, even in fishnets, are a lighter color that matches up with the background before the dress and corset can anchor the image.  Three: I didn’t like the shoes very much.  They just didn’t seem to fit the picture.  Personally, I think a longer dress that maybe had a slit to show some leg would have been better.  And let the model stand up.  It is possible to stand in platform heels and the long legs with a long dress would have given the solid black dress and solid red corset more impact.

I went browsing on the page to find something that I thought did a better job of showing contrast with color and found an interesting picture.  Even with multiple colors in the background and the woodwork so close to the model, her red hair and blue corset pop off the page.  Her skin tone is close to the wall behind her which helps, and the wall is not an even pattern.  Her left arm gives a solid break of pale between 944240_546241798773069_2027667725_nthe woodwork and the vivid blue corset.  This contrast works for me.

Both pictures were posted at Hot Heels & Corsets on Facebook.  I recently found this site thanks to a friend who sent me a photo of an interesting pair of boots.  They do have some nice stuff on their page.  Be sure to check it out.  There were other pictures that showed more contract, some with color, others black and white.  But I like both of these pictures for what they are.  Except for the flaming shoes…

Mediocre Expectations

Do you have an ex? More than one?  Do you find that you are attracted to people similar to your exes? There is a reason for that.

We are drawn to what we are familiar with.  Once a pattern of behavior has been established we expect everyone and everything we encounter after that point to follow the pattern.  And when we find something that diverges from it we’re not sure what to do with it.

People as a group do not take well to change.  Not in our personal interactions.  We prefer people stay predictable so we know how to respond when things happen.  Even if we frequently bitch about the way people behave we expect that behavior from everyone.

But what if someone doesn’t fit that mold?  With a population as high as it is today, is it realistic to expect “everybody” to behave the way your ex did?  Not really.  It’s basically a case of not letting a couple of bad apples spoil the whole barrel.

We have all had a bad relationship, maybe more than one.  But that doesn’t mean there are not people out there who genuinely care about each other and show it without being prodded to do so.

I posted a video today on my Facebook page of a marriage proposal.  Most of them lately are really cheesy but this one was pretty good.  The guy had his entire family and many friends involved, about 60 people.  It was awesome.

A friend of mine commented that now the guy will have to be over-the-top with whatever else he does in the relationship or the bride will bitch about it.  Why?  Why can’t two people be in love and stay in love with each other?

Showing your partner you love them shouldn’t be a chore.  And neither person should feel like they have to perform a song-&-dance to show their love.  Be honest and open.  Show and say how you feel.

Both men and women need positive feedback.  Just like teaching a child something new, positive feedback (a.k.a positive reinforcement) will help much more than anything negative.  But you have to start off being positive.

If you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop you just may bring it on.  Don’t look for a problem where there isn’t one.  Be consistent and honest.  I can’t stress that enough.  Let me say it again.  BE CONSISTENT AND HONEST.

I’ve said before that we are experts at lying to ourselves.  You have to be honest with yourself about your relationships.  What is it that goes wrong?  Do you pick the wrong person to start with?  Too many points of disagreement from the start that are compounded once the relationship gets serious?  Does something change further into it?  Who changes?  Why?

These are not easy questions.  But anything worth having is worth working to make it good.  Look back at your past experiences with open eyes and ask these questions.  You might surprise yourself with the answers you find.

Look at your current relationships, too.  Are behaviors predictable?  Do you complain about the same things you have in the past?  Do you like feeling that way?  If not then you need to make a change.  Only you can keep yourself miserable.

If you expect mediocrity that’s what you’ll find.  If you choose to stay miserable then you’ll be miserable.  Being happy is ALL about the choices we make.  So what do you want to be today?