Hi! I’m creating a new blog. I hope you all will follow me over at that blog. I’ll post links to it here for a while before I stop posting altogether on here. The new page is spellboundscribbler.wordpress.com and please feel free to share it. I just posted my first blog at spellboundscribbler. Come on over and take a look!
Chelsea Avenue reads like your favorite crime drama. A quick pace takes you through the events of Murphy’s Law Club and its deadly history. Characters are in and out quickly, but painted in such masterful strokes that you recognize them instantly. You’re inside the head of the good guys, see glimpses inside the bad guy and cheer and shout when the end game plays out.
Armand Rosamilia writes crisp images with a minimal of fluff, evoking emotions from his readers like an elder god calling across time and space. If you need something to read, you have found your new favorite author. You can find Armand at http://armandrosamilia.com and at http://www.ragnarokpub.com
I’ve been in my new house for about three weeks now. I’m not as jumpy as I was when I first moved in. This is the first time I’ve ever lived alone. The noises of the house took some getting used to. The air conditioning kicking on, the ice maker, the dehumidifier, wind, rain on the tin carport roof, bugs buzzing around the high windows in my bedroom at night. Now, I can take a shower any time of day and not have flashbacks from Hitchcock’s Psycho.
I’m still leaving some night lights on but I’m comfortable in my house. My home. It’s the first time I’ve felt I truly had a home I could call my own. I have my stuff all around me, throughout the house. Not just a room. And I don’t have to have company unless I just want it. Some days I do. Some not so much. I’m working twelve hour days when I work so those days I’m content to just come home and not do anything. I don’t have to go anywhere or talk to anyone. Besides I have my cell phone to text and Facebook with anyone who feels talkative. I think I’m going to like having my own home.
If any of you have seen pictures of me, it is quite evident that I am not flat chested. While I often gripe about my bras the truth is I would be in a lot of pain and quite miserable without them. I need that support. What does my bra do? The same function as a man’s athletic cup. Protect body parts that are often unsupported and in danger of getting squeezed, crushed, mashed, pinched…you get the point. These devices come in different sizes. A good thing since human bodies are a bit asymmetrical and even twins will have some differences. Each person is different and needs a type of support designed specifically for them.
Which brings me to my point. Each person on this planet needs more than just support from their clothes. We all need emotional support from the people around us. But it’s not all the same. Students need support to do well in school. Teachers need support to effectively fill heads with knowledge. People with ANY type of illness need support from family, friends and doctors in order for treatment to be successful.
A lot of our support system needs to come from within. This is not a contradiction of my last paragraph. Our own self-esteem and self-control work with the support of those around us. It’s important that the people we surround ourselves with understand us well enough to offer the support we need, and vice versa. A good example: if your best friend is trying to make healthy changes to his/her diet and get in shape, don’t offer them food they can’t eat. This is even more important when you live with someone. It is very difficult for a person to make healthy lifestyle changes when they share space with someone who is content to stay the way they are.
Do you have enough willpower to fix two different meals so you can eat together? Can you look across the table and watch the other person eat a big bowl of pasta and resist the urge to have even a bite? It’s difficult to maintain a new change long enough for it to become a habit when you don’t have enough support. And before you start, just saying you are supportive of someone’s efforts to get healthy or do whatever is not enough. Saying you’ll support my effort to go to the gym and cut out sodas and wheat is nothing but LIP SERVICE UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY BACK IT UP!
Let me repeat that: IT’S ONLY LIP SERVICE UNLESS YOUR ACTIONS SHOW YOUR SUPPORT! If I’m trying to get to the gym more often, ask me “did you make it to the gym today?” If I’m trying to eat what my doctor recommends, don’t bring home spaghetti O’s and frozen pizza. Yes, there are compromises, within reason. But if you’re going to say you support my efforts, then act like it. If we’re eating together, eat what I eat. If it’s your turn to buy groceries, don’t fill the cabinets with stuff I can’t eat. Don’t just tell me you support me. Show me.
I was never taught the value of cultivating self-esteem and self-control. I’ve had to learn those the hard way, through trial and error. My brother and I are both trying to make some lifestyle changes in order to get healthy. We’re both officially orphans with plenty of extended family. The two of us are our own support system, warped and twisted though it is. We need all the support we can get from those around us.
How strong is your support? If you wanted to make a big change would people be there to help you or just give lip service? How well does your bra fit?
It’s not often that I can’t get my ADD under control. Sometimes I have to fall back on the puzzle books I used when I was younger to refocus my mind. Lately though I have had more trouble staying on task. I’m taking online classes and it has been really difficult for me to concentrate. I’ve tried all kinds of tricks, schedule variations, reward systems. Nothing seems to help. Even my beloved music is not doing it this time. While I’m writing this I’m chatting with a friend, listening to music and keeping the dogs entertained all while procrastinating doing my homework.
I can be easily distracted but this is starting to get ridiculous. I need a distraction from my distractions. I need to concentrate on a bloody ton of reading. But I want to work on my writing. And my crochet projects. And the new origami flowers I found…. Oh, look, a bunny!
Just an update today. I mentioned a couple posts back that I was returning to college, online. That’s going well. I’m getting back into the swing of things and enjoying class immensely.
Coming soon I will have a review for you. Zombies, romance, erotica… A little something from Angelic Knight Press to warm your heart, tingle your naughty bits, or maybe just activate your Ew response. Fifty Shades of Decay is now available on Amazon. Look for the review soon.
I hope you have a great day. It’s cold and rainy where I am. But the day is what I make of it. So far, so good. 🙂
Just after Christmas I had an epiphany of sorts. One of the biggest things my mom did to derail my success deals with school. I flunked out of college the first go around. The day I moved back home she turned to me in the car and said: I was going to say I told you so, but I won’t.
Think about that for a minute. Keep in mind that I did love my mother. But she was not a happy person. She seemed to take joy in making other people as unhappy as she was. And she was quite skilled at setting you up to fail. Well, setting me and my brother up to fail. Mom was, however, a product of her upbringing. Mostly the important formative years under age 5 before she was adopted by my grandparents, her biological father and his wife (Grandma was my biological grandmother’s sister). That’s a whole other sordid Southern tale that I still don’t know all the details of. But back to my epiphany….
I realized that I was still letting that moment in the car control my success. I’ve cut a lot of apron strings over the last few years but this one was knotted tightly very close to the core of who I am. So, you ask… What did I do with this revelation?
I decided to go back to school. I have an associate degree and tons of assorted credits, but no bachelor’s degree. January 7 was my first day of class at Capella University in their online psychology program. And it truly is not a “in-your-face” to my mother. This is me proving to myself that I can finish my degree. This is me taking a skill I have used for years and getting actual training to do it professionally.
I have always been the friend my friends confide in. People seem to find me when they need to pour out their hearts, when they have difficult choices to make, when they need someone to listen and give honest feedback. And I have built this blog on my own self-guided therapy. So finishing school is one more step in my own evolution.
I am keeping my guard up a bit. I can still feel mom’s negative energy in the back of my head, trying to slow me down. It will take some new habits to get back into the school thing and push the last of her voice out. But it’s a challenge I am very happy to accept.