Hi! I’m creating a new blog. I hope you all will follow me over at that blog. I’ll post links to it here for a while before I stop posting altogether on here. The new page is spellboundscribbler.wordpress.com and please feel free to share it. I just posted my first blog at spellboundscribbler. Come on over and take a look!
It’s not often that I can’t get my ADD under control. Sometimes I have to fall back on the puzzle books I used when I was younger to refocus my mind. Lately though I have had more trouble staying on task. I’m taking online classes and it has been really difficult for me to concentrate. I’ve tried all kinds of tricks, schedule variations, reward systems. Nothing seems to help. Even my beloved music is not doing it this time. While I’m writing this I’m chatting with a friend, listening to music and keeping the dogs entertained all while procrastinating doing my homework.
I can be easily distracted but this is starting to get ridiculous. I need a distraction from my distractions. I need to concentrate on a bloody ton of reading. But I want to work on my writing. And my crochet projects. And the new origami flowers I found…. Oh, look, a bunny!
Just after Christmas I had an epiphany of sorts. One of the biggest things my mom did to derail my success deals with school. I flunked out of college the first go around. The day I moved back home she turned to me in the car and said: I was going to say I told you so, but I won’t.
Think about that for a minute. Keep in mind that I did love my mother. But she was not a happy person. She seemed to take joy in making other people as unhappy as she was. And she was quite skilled at setting you up to fail. Well, setting me and my brother up to fail. Mom was, however, a product of her upbringing. Mostly the important formative years under age 5 before she was adopted by my grandparents, her biological father and his wife (Grandma was my biological grandmother’s sister). That’s a whole other sordid Southern tale that I still don’t know all the details of. But back to my epiphany….
I realized that I was still letting that moment in the car control my success. I’ve cut a lot of apron strings over the last few years but this one was knotted tightly very close to the core of who I am. So, you ask… What did I do with this revelation?
I decided to go back to school. I have an associate degree and tons of assorted credits, but no bachelor’s degree. January 7 was my first day of class at Capella University in their online psychology program. And it truly is not a “in-your-face” to my mother. This is me proving to myself that I can finish my degree. This is me taking a skill I have used for years and getting actual training to do it professionally.
I have always been the friend my friends confide in. People seem to find me when they need to pour out their hearts, when they have difficult choices to make, when they need someone to listen and give honest feedback. And I have built this blog on my own self-guided therapy. So finishing school is one more step in my own evolution.
I am keeping my guard up a bit. I can still feel mom’s negative energy in the back of my head, trying to slow me down. It will take some new habits to get back into the school thing and push the last of her voice out. But it’s a challenge I am very happy to accept.
We have survived the Mayan’s math skills! Or rather we have come to the end of a particular cycle. That means it’s time for a new one to begin.
Many people are dealing with a lot of stress this holiday season. There are a multitude of reasons for that stress. What we all need to remember is that we are not alone. It’s okay to miss people who are gone, to wish people gone who are here, to forgive those who have hurt you in whatever way, big or small.
Celebrate the fact that you are alive today. Hug someone who’s important to you. Kiss someone under a sprig of mistletoe. Stand in the sunshine and take a moment to be happy.
Depending on who I say that to I will get a wide range of responses. It varies based on the relationship I have with each person I ask. Oh, dear. I said the R word. Don’t freak out on me. Keep reading.
Let me start by showing you several types of relationships:
parent – child
child – parent
spouse – spouse
friend – friend
lover – lover
neighbor – neighbor
boss – employee
coach – athlete
nurse – patient
customer – cashier/server/hairdresser/mechanic/tailor….
The list could go on but I have more to say. 😉
No two people are the same. Even twins have at least one variation from each other in some way. So why would you expect your relationships to all be the same? Every relationship is unique to the two people involved in it.
There are patterns and themes that repeat. Seeing those patterns is not always easy. When you think to yourself “why does this keep happening” you need to keep one important thing in mind. The one thing all of your relationships have in common…….. is You.
This doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. It means you are human and tend to repeat patterns you are accustomed to. When you repeat the same behaviors you get the same patterns. Naturally, that leads me to this: if you want to see different patterns, change your behavior. Even changing one thing in one relationship can make a difference.
Each of our actions is like a ripple on a pond. One change here, will lead to another change there. But here’s the thing to remember: the changes happen within us. When we look at something differently, we react to it differently. In turn the people around us react to us differently.
There’s a writer on my Facebook page who is always bitching about Mondays. It’s to the point I don’t read anything she posts on a Sunday. I’ve tried to show her that Mondays are only as bad as you let them be. She already knows she has to get up and go to work. Nothing new. So why be so uptight about it? I like Mondays. The beginning of each week is another chance to have a great week. If she would change her behavior she might actually have a good day on a Monday. Imagine that.
Even if you think you don’t have a “Relationship” with someone, you do. If you’ve spoken more than once and gotten past “Hello, how are you?” then you have a relationship even if it’s only a casual acquaintance. That doesn’t mean your favorite guy-friend will turn into dating material. It doesn’t mean the girl you speak to at the grocery store will turn out to be as bitchy as your ex-wife.
We talk to people everyday that will be part of our lives in some way. Don’t be afraid of the R word. It’s only as bad as you let it be. Now, tell me something good….
What do you do when you feel uninspired? Do you try to force the words to come? Do you sit around and wait for inspiration to strike? Maybe try changing up your writing routine in hopes of freeing your Muse?
Throw something at me and I’ve probably tried it at least twice trying to kickstart my Muse. I’m not sure what the problem is. Am I afraid of completing something and actually being successful with it? Am I so afraid of failing that I can’t work up enough courage to try?
There are probably as many reasons why we don’t try things as there are people to ask the question. I have OCD, maybe even a touch of ADD. I’m not the only one. What makes me so special? Only I can decide if I will allow myself to be my own distraction.
We are truly in charge of our own destinies. If you feel unproductive, then do something. If you feel like you lack confidence, find something that helps you build your confidence and keep doing it until you feel strong in your self esteem.
Take control of your own life. Don’t wallow in the past. Don’t let other people get so far inside your head that their voice is the only one you hear talking to you. Find your voice. Do whatever it takes.
I’m tickled fuscia to have Neeta Lyffe on the blog today. As you know she is
the nation’s leading expert on zombie extermination. Our readers have sent in their must-know questions and we have the top nine questions for Neeta right now.
BB: How did you like the convention in San Francisco?
NL: I would have enjoyed it a lot better if the zombies hadn’t picked that weekend to invade the Bay Area, that’s for certain. However, the lecture on finding a cure for zombie-ism was fascinating and useful, and of course, the expo floor was top-notch, as usual. I ended up spending a little more than I anticipated, but I’m very glad for the new monofilament swords and the helmets.
BB: Are the zombies any different in San Francisco?
NL: These ones certainly were, in that most came from the GiveBack Memorial Gardens and Fish Preserve, so they were waterlogged, partly eaten (or inhabited) by sea life, and many had weights implanted in their posteriors. They were probably the grossest undead I’ve ever encountered, and I had had over 40 rekills to my name at that time.
BB: What’s your favorite weapon?
NL: Well, it used to be the chainsaw, but I’m becoming very fond of the monofilament sword. They’re don’t splatter as much and are easier to handle.
BB: Are the rumors of a romance with Ted true?
NL: We’re engaged, but we haven’t set the date yet.
BB: How do you balance exterminating zombies and romance?
NL: Ted makes it easy. He knows how to find joy in the most stressful or disgusting aspects of the work. Not to mention, he thinks I’m hot when I’m dressed in a rubber HazMat suit and wielding a bloody chainsaw. How many women can say that about their fiancés?
BB: Is it possible to have a relationship with a zombie?
NL: Of course not. Zombies are simply dead flesh that has been reanimated by some process we don’t understand yet. They may walk, eat, and retain certain habits, but there is no sentience, no intelligence, and no soul.
BB: What’s in store for us on the next season of Zombie Death Extreme? Any spoilers?
NL: It’s taking place in Jamaica this year, so I don’t have any connection to it. I’m glad about that, frankly; one season was enough for me.
BB: Who has been your favorite contestant so far?
NL: From ZDE-Bayou, you mean? Juliet Montigue has a level head and a lot of drive. She may not have been as intelligent as some of the other candidates, but she has common sense and was willing to work to make up for her deficiencies. Even though she didn’t win, I hear she’s doing very well for herself in Minnesota as an exterminator.
BB: Anything else you’d like to tell our readers?
NL: Despite what you see on TV or read about re-killing zombies, it is extremely dangerous. Even if you avoid being bitten, zombie-ism is spread by bodily fluids, so you can become just as infected by splatter. Remember—Distract, Run, and call 9-1-1. You can learn more about my extermination business and about the show Zombie Death Extreme at http://zombiedeathextreme.com
There you have it, Folks. Remember to call an expert when zombies attack. Call Neeta Lyffe.